One Beauteous Thing

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Desert Landscape

Photo Credit goes to my Grandma, may she rest in peace.  My Grandma took pictures everywhere she went.  Of everything.  I’m not exaggerating about that, either.  You’ll see what I mean eventually.  She always had a disposable camera with her.  Grandpa and I picked out a digital one for her on her birthday one year, but she never got used to it.  She used it a few times and then it was back to the good old disposable.  The other thing about my Grandma was that she never threw out a photo.  Even if it came out too dark, or blurry, or overexposed.  Everything was wonderful to her.  She kept them all.

She passed away not too long ago and I got to keep a lot of those photos.  Not the ones with people in them–those went to her daughters to sort through–but all the others.  I’m going to be posting one of those a day from now on.  I’ll also be posting one thing a day that I find beautiful.

That’s all I’m looking for.  Just one beautiful thing that’ll make life seem like its worth living.  If I can find one thing every day that is beautiful to me, or that makes me smile, I’ll stick around.  I have a lot of anxiety and I’ve been dealing with Major Depressive Disorder since I was fourteen.  My goal in life is to not kill myself before my parents die.  My dad made me promise that he wouldn’t have to bury me.

I’ve been struggling with that promise for the past week or so.  It comes and goes.  Sometimes I’m almost fine.  Sometimes traffic looks really friendly.

Long story short, I’ve got this box that’s full of my Grandma’s pictures.  There’s around five or six years worth of them if I spread them out one a day.  I’ll be posting one of hers, and one of mine.  One thing every day that’s worth it to me.  If I don’t just stumble across it, I have to go out and look for that thing.  Forgive my crappy photography skills.  I’m doing the best that I can.

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Day One: Moon at Sunrise

 

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